There's an old Sufi saying that goes a little something like this.... There was a man who rode his donkey from town to town asking the people he came into contact with the same question... Where's my donkey?
What a ridiculous question seeing he was clearly riding his donkey! But the man had been riding the donkey for so long he had forgotten it was there!
This is what it's like for us and our subconscious mind... We are walking around with all these habits and issues and old wounds that are so normal to us that we don't even know they're there any more!
Until.... Someone / something pushes our buttons and then a deeply buried feeling starts moving within us, the donkey is trying to get our attention.
We say, Oh God! Why do I feel this way? Why am I so angry? Why am I so upset?!
We don't know!! So... it must be their fault! And then we project blame out into the Universe (and quite often to our poor partner or person closest to us) in an attempt to disown and get rid of the feeling. How dare they make me feel this way!
The truth is, what was really happening was a little piece of you was actually screaming for help, for love, to be heard and understood and freed from the chains of your psyche forever. It was trying to move and grow and become more than what it was being limited to.
The truth is that a long time ago, something happened in your life that you couldn't appropriately process at the time, and so the wound of that experience remained buried in your energy field for the future you to process, when you were old enough and wise enough to see the situation differently.
And every time this feeling gets triggered within you, it's an opportunity to heal, grow, and yes... actually change the past!
This is how things could have gone... A feeling gets triggered... Oooh it's raw! It's urgent! And you really feel its their fault, you're the victim here! But instead of attack and blame, or retreat within yourself in shame... you sit, and you feel. You start a communication with the part of you inside who feels this way, and you start the process of growth.
Instead of attacking the person you felt victimised you, you explain to them what's going on within you and what you are working on processing... This creates intimacy and empathy, instead of defensiveness and a counter attack (which is so hard to bear when you're already feeling vulnerable).
It may take one day or one year to evolve this buried wound, but no matter how long it takes, it is the best thing you will ever do. In fact it's the only thing you are here to do! - To grow! To become more than your wounds, to be the best version of you that you can possibly be!
Every time you respond to your pain, instead if react to it, you become lighter, happier and much more connected to the Divine, your own Source of Love.
Susan Harrington-Baker is an International Inspirational Leader, Teacher and Intuitive from Christchurch, New Zealand.