I've been rather out of action for the last 2 and a half years due to becoming a Mumma again, and as most of you will know... it wasn't an easy ride for me (massive understatement!)
But I got to a point where I was like....
It's time for me to get my booty back into doing what I love. It's time for me to face the world again, take some risks, put myself out there.
The thing is, I had the remnants of 2 years of shitty thinking to contend with.
I started going running as a way to pump up my endorphins and move some energy... and when I was completing my run a few weeks ago (and feeling rather pumped up and pleased with myself, I must say) the barrage of self-doubt, pessimistic, failure thoughts started attacking me left, right and centre...
You know the ones... The ones that tell you it will never work, there's no point, who are you to be so successful, you're going to fail, you can't do it.
But this time, my response was totally new. This new energy rose up inside of me that hadn't been there before... This new energy took one look at those repetitive negative thoughts and said, "Nup! Not on my watch buddy."
This new energy took a stand for me, the real me, the vulnerable, authentic me. Just like a body guard would protect his client, this new energy punched those negative thoughts in the face!
It felt good. Really good.
I gave this new energy a name: FIERCE.
E xpression of
I have been using this new-found FIERCE to stand up for me ever since then, and now I am on the brink of launching an exciting new project. I've been re-formatting and redesigning my Learn to Channel course and turning it into an online, live coaching format where I'll be able to reach people all over the world.
Have you found your FIERCE?
Hey, we all wobble all over the place with our emotional states and energy levels and levels of optimism and general helpfulness to those around us... Don't beat yourself up about it.
Some days we feel invincible, strong, positive - our best version of ourselves... Only to plummet the next day into frustration and despair, or anxiety and confusion, or total exhaustion :/ And we wonder, what the hell happened?
You know what I mean??
You know what's really important to remember here?
On the days when you are feeling like crap, having a meltdown, being fearful, getting anxious, getting frustrated, feeling negative or hopeless or flat...
Don't make an identity for yourself around these wobbles off your centre.
Don't tell yourself you are no good because today you can't seem to find the motivation, don't tell yourself that you are generally a failure because today, you just don't have the energy. Don't tell yourself that you are really a wreck and no-good because you're having an anxious moment, or processing a fearful thought.
Don't define yourself by your wobbles.
Who you really are is that YOU that you sense when you are feeling super connected to yourself and others, when you are in appreciation of yourself and others, when your heart is open and you're feeling generous, when your doing what you love with passion, when you are feeling free and abundant, when you are plugged into your Source and are breathing deep of that peace and contentment.
This is YOU. The real you. The wobbles are just wobbles. They are transient clouds passing through an endlessly blue sky. They are an opportunity to love yourself more, to become more patient. And because they are NOT the real YOU, eventually they pass, they fade... (do you notice that?!) But YOU always remain.
What can help you to lessen the wobbles, or at least, not take them so personally?
Make it a discipline everyday to tune-in to, and embody the real YOU. A meditation, a walk, a run, yoga, writing affirmations, dancing, singing - whatever does it for you - DO IT.
This will ensure that the real YOU is louder and brighter and stronger and more influential in your life, and the wobbles become smaller, fuzzier, shorter, less significant.
Susan Harrington-Baker is an International Inspirational Leader, Teacher and Intuitive from Christchurch, New Zealand.